Last year opened and closed underneath a blanket of snow.
The thaw between exposed wonders and growth. It was a good year. I had fun, I grew and found a job and flat that I loved. I had finally found a job I loved, that gave me much more satisfaction than just the pay cheque. I was content. And after 8 years of living in the sticks besides the most ignorant of hell's neighbours I escaped to the nurturing bosom of the city and into a Victorian flat that obviously had been built for me. Everything fitted, furniture and life, and I approached the new year with a Cheshire-cat grin.
Once the snow receded and January beckoned, all damp and grey, everything I had achieved and worked hard for became as substantial as melt water and just as tenable. I felt devastated. Work and home were under threat - a double blow, an organised attack, a pincer of disappointment and uncertainty.
Instead of resolutions to give this up, or stop doing that, I had to simply prepare for an onslaught of upheaval and chaos.
This will be my account of the next year and how I manage to deal with all the things I have been presented with. The hiatus between Christmas and New Year has been filled with thoughts and anticipation as I have geared myself up to begin dealing with it all once the world reopens on January 5th 2011. My first concerns will be that of redundancy and homelessness. I have the financial backing of £25.00 and a car that will have to be mourned by the end of the month.
I am on my own. That is simply a statement of fact and not a cry for sympathy. I will attempt to overcome all my burdens on my own and hopefully learn for the journey. It will be an adventure, of that I am sure. It will keep me awake at night. It will be difficult and stressful. It will also be an achievement, an accomplishment, a victory.
It will be like swimming up waterfalls.
